I know I said the other day that it was my anniversary at work. Sorry but I meant the next day, December 20. I forgot that most of you were still experiencing December 19. That said, I’ve been going through a lot of things and have been finding stuff that I can share here. Don’t be surprised if I post more than once in a day. Now on to the challenge!
Day 22 of the #NaNoPoblano2021 challenge, now a.k.a. “NaDePoblano” (heee….) . Major Theme: “A Few of My Earliest Things”. New sub-theme: “First Published”. Related post: My Evolution as a Writer. Related page: Poetry Nook.
Back when I worked for a tertiary school, I met new people, my first friends out of college. One of them included me as one of her baby’s godmothers. Unfortunately, the baby was born with a Complex Heart Disease. She needed surgery, but it had to wait until she was a year old. It was very risky operating on Baby Pauline at such a young age, even at one.
During her young life, I saw her only once, maybe a day or two before her surgery. Her mother brought her to the office so we could see her. I remember her smiling. Her eyes were a-glow. It gave us a sense of hope that things were going to be alright…
After surgery, however, the results were not good. Our friends (mostly her godmothers, too) and I went to visit her at the hospital and we found out she was in critical condition. Pauline’s mother tried to let us visit the baby one by one, let us inside the room. I delayed my turn. I wasn’t ready yet. But after two or three people had their turns, we were not allowed by the hospital staff to see her anymore. Visitation hours were over. At that moment, I was, to be truthful, relieved. I dreaded seeing her frail little body stuck with various needles. I didn’t want to see her like that…I don’t remember anymore if she survived a few more days after that, or if it was just hours after. I just remember we were sad that a little one had to go so soon.
In hindsight, I don’t regret not seeing her at the hospital. Not at all. I thank the Lord that I have that memory of her smiling face to remember her by. In all honesty, it was a good, final memory.
That’s her in the photo above. The message was something I penned (not the song on the right, though), as requested by her parents. It was a kind of thank you card/letter for those who helped raise funds for the baby’s surgery. When Baby Pauline passed away, I created another piece, talking about her brief journey. They printed it out on another card, which they gave away to people at her wake.
The poem I am sharing was written for her months after. I don’t think I’ve ever published it anywhere. I Googled it verbatim, it didn’t come out. Checked my other blog, I did not see it either. So maybe it’s safe to say that today is the first time I am publishing this.
For Baby Pauline, in memoriam.
NOTE: Free use of flower image from Pixabay.com