Sorry, Augie

This past weekend was particularly hard for me. At one time, I cried really hard like I lost someone. Well, I did, but it wasn’t a person, rather our dog, Augie. He got sick and passed away.

baby-augie

This was Augie when he became ours

The way I was carrying on, it was like I was wailing for a loved one. But Augie was a loved one and it was particularly hard for me because even though I was always the one not at home, ergo, not with him, I am the resident true-blue dog lover at home. I have been since I was little. He knew it because I was his favorite human. Isay and Augie were the first dogs I had again after many years.

I am haunted by regrets–for not having played with him more, for sometimes being strict with him, for other things we/I should have done but didn’t, or did but should not have done. Everyone has emotionally moved on, though it’s not to say they didn’t care, but I am still here wondering whatever else that I should have done for him.

It sucks because I’m the type of personality that does not forget incidences in my life that make me regret things MANY YEARS AFTER. Like not helping strangers when I probably should have (even when I try to replay things in my head, I cannot see how I could). Or accidentally causing the death of a street cat instead of saving it, which was my actual intention. Or abruptly losing a friendship over a single phone call because I lost my temper and the other person happened to be sensitive, and I never heard from her again, ever, even when I tried to to reach out and wrote a letter, hoping she’d get to read it. Or saying kind of mean things about others when I was in high school (I wasn’t mean-mean, but high school does bring out the meanness in people once in a while)…

Yes, I still carry those in my heart and they’re eating at my conscience. I am always brave enough to sincerely say sorry, and I did in various occasions, but still, the guilt is there. Sometimes, it’s already irrational, and my brain knows it but my heart is sad anyway. I know I will carry this in years to come, whether I try to ignore it or not.

Augie, we love you and we’re sorry. I definitely miss you. Rest in peace…

our-dog-augie

Our beloved Augie sitting on top of one of his favorite places. He has gone to Dog Heaven…

My Missing Random Post

A few weeks ago, since I was not able to write a proper blog post for maybe a month or so, I decided to post something about random stuff. However, when I tried to find the draft, I could not find it, which was a blessing in disguise in a way for it paved the way for a more personal post.

I decided to to post something in particular now as a page and where did I happen to find this? In the pages section! That’s why I could not find it before, I set it as a page, not a post!

Anyway, I decided to edit and continue with it…

Okay. I’ve been busy with work, family and foosball lately. That explains why I haven’t had proper time to write a proper blog post.  Just had my laptop fixed, ergo, I may be able to enjoy more time writing again. Meanwhile, there are some random stuff that I’d like to share to you.

Random#1:

foosball-play-doubles

What. this isn’t fierce enough for ya? 😉

FOOSBALL!!! I just mentioned it at the start. A foosball table came to my and my officemates’ lives just this June and we’ll never be the same again. It was just all for fun and then we decided to have a tournament. First, it was the doubles. And now, we’re playing singles — it’s every man/woman on his/her own.

It’s one of the funnest activities we’ve ever had in the office. Brings out the competitive nature of some, but it’s still all for fun. Winners get whatever the others have pledged (mine would be his/her choice of either a cup of Starbucks coffee or an order of milk tea at the milk tea store near the office).

Personally, I don’t think I’m winning anything except a few matches, but don’t tell them that 😉  I am up against kids who grew up playing fast games online and in the arcade. They have busy hands. Hey, I’m still learning from these experts.

In the Foosball World, I am Alias: Li’l Dove Feather:

Li'l Dove Feather

Check out my theme song…Fierce, too, eh? What I lack in skills, I make up with pretend, LOL!!!

Random#2:

You fictionists out there might want to try and join this contest! The Creative Writing Institute is holding a writing competition. If you love to write whodunnits (although they are open to other genres…Does genre have a plural form…?), this is for you. I’ll try to squeeze it in myself, but I’m not promising anything. I should have had my laptop fixed much earlier.

cwi-writing-contest

The CWI Contest Guidelines

Read the whole instructions and MORE from their site. Oh, and Happy 7th, CWI!!!!!

Random#3:

So cute and funny!!!

Random#4:

Dat be us from the office 😉

eversun-makati-jumpshot

The Office Jumpshot!!! Photo credit: Adjhan Penus

That was taken during our company outing at Laiya, Batangas. I’m not a jumper, not really good at it, it’s one of my frustrations, actually. So this was my best jump, like ever (I’m third from right)

Random#5:

Wise words.

ISAY & AUGIE #atozchallenge2015

A week after Holy Week, we got our little girl…Little girl puppy, that is. i of A to Z It’s the first time this house got a dog after a long time. Our last dog was Odie and that was when I was still single and unattached, plus my parents were still alive. He was our last because my mother would not allow another one. She said, “Who’s going to take care of it when you’re always away?” It was when my father already had the stroke and my mother was not really strong anymore. I was away on weekdays to work so all the responsibility of taking care of the house, my father, and the dog went to her. A dog was too hyper for her. Needless to say, I saw her point so I gave in. I’ve said this several times already after my parents passed away that I would get a dog again. It is only now that it has come true when I’ve got my own family.

isay-dog

Isay is one aloof little girl. Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

Ladies and gents, presenting…ISAY. I gave her that name, after the place she came from, Talisay. She was already around two months old, though, with certain behaviors that we’re trying to “undo”. She tends to be aloof even of us and has a love-hate relationship with her primary human, my husband. When she does become playful, she can become too playful and treat us aggressively like non-humans.

isay-and-bin

Isay with her main human. It’s not easy capturing her every time because she runs away. Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

More than a week ago, we got her a brother (well, brother until their relationship changes). The kids wanted to call him Augie so Augie it is. He is just a month old. Good thing Isay didn’t get jealous and was completely welcoming the other pup. Augie, on the other hand, is more friendly to humans. I present to you…AUGIE!!!!

SOo hard to take this picture!

So hard to take this picture! Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

More humans!!!

More humans!!! Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

Hope you like the pics!!! 🙂