Moms, we are with you…

It’s also Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, did you know? I didn’t, until I stumbled upon Ashley Anderson‘s article last Friday.  Now you know what that means to me, so I won’t delve much into it. I do want to express my deep sorrow through her words.

Our experiences were different, but we were on the same boat. And now, we’re learning to swim, maybe in a different way, too, but we’re both surviving in our own ways. The way a lot of mothers who were on the same boat as well are coping with life.

To our fellow moms, I only have to say that we must strive to enjoy life every day, enjoy even the tiniest bit of things. And never, ever lose hope…

Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Awareness Month

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. For those of you who know me, it’s something that is near and  dear to my heart. Not everyone is comfortable with talking about their journey and loss, but I’ve found that with speaking out about pregnancy loss can help with healing, open up conversation and help connect people who have been affected by loss. 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy and infant loss. It’s time we talk about it.

pregnancy-awareness-monthHere is my story:

My husband and I decided quite early on that we wanted children. It was something that was never really discussed seriously, just something that was important to both of us. We decided in early 2012 that we would start trying (a few months before our wedding) because things like that never happen right away. Well, it did. I conceived the first time in early February of that year…

Read full article

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If you need someone to talk to privately, even just to listen, feel free to email me at j.gi.federizo@gmail.com.

I do advise that you first turn to your loved ones because in such trying times, they must be your first line of support. Grief and sorrow can be lessened when you have a strong support system. If it is a depression that is way beyond the powers of your loved ones, consider getting professional help. It is never wrong to ask for help.

I Ditched Mother’s Day

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYSSSS TO ALL MOMS!!!!

Mother’s Day came and went. I know it’s a great time to show how much we appreciate our moms  but, honestly, I did not want to dwell on it too much at the time.

While I am a mother by ‘chance’ (husband has two sons from his past relationship) and I do treat the kids as my own, my heart was secretly mad. I felt robbed of the chance to really feel what it’s like. Sure, I know, there are these two kids already and I do love them, no matter how strict I seem to them and to others. I know being a mother can mean a lot of things, that you don’t have to be the one to deliver a baby on this earth. It’s just I wish I did not have to experience my two heartaches.

Mother’s Day reminded me more of what I lost. It was like the occasion was rubbing my face in my “failures”. My heart was secretly mourning for my little ones that I only busied myself with cleaning up and fixing things inside the kids’ room. I did not even have the heart to try to go online and greet every mother on that special day. That’s because I did not want anyone greeting me as well – does that make sense?

I just wanted the day to be over so that I could greet them sometime later. Silly, I know, for I  only wanted to wallow in my misery for a while, something I cannot fully, logically explain. I guess it’s inevitable. As a mother, you just never forget. Emotion is not something you can easily turn on-and-off.

Well, today is my own special day and this is my gift: a greeting-slash-letter-slash-reminder. It’s the simplest, wisest, most sincere gift I can give to myself, and maybe to any mother who doubts herself.

 

Hey, you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A bit belatedly, but I greet you just the same. After all, just like other special days, we believe it should be celebrated everyday. Showing appreciation should not only be an annual activity.

On Mother’s Day, most claim to have The Best Mother ever, which is partially wrong and partially right. There is no actual measurement or fool-proof way to determine who’s got the best among the rest. Still, a child does know in his heart how his mother has been the perfect one for him. It’s the real love story.

But let’s talk about you.

Of course, you may not be the prettiest, smartest, coolest, sweetest mother – hey, nobody’s really perfect – but I know you try your best for your kids. You know this, you just have to have more faith in yourself. Stop feeding your guilt and letting it eat you up. Quit always feeling inadequate and questioning your own capabilities as a mother… GET. OVER. IT.

It doesn’t matter whether you give birth, adopt or take care of your husband’s children. If you have decided to commit yourself to being a mother, then, by all means, commit! Don’t let your brain have time to make excuses for you. You’re tough, keep it that way.

Motherhood is not for sissies and the weak of heart. You don’t do it half-baked, not half-heartedly. It is not something you just happen to plunge into. Motherhood is a lifetime career that should be taken seriously. I know you do so I am proud of you. Just don’t let that get into your head, okay? There is no room for misplaced pride.

Your kids probably do not or may not appreciate you now, but it’s not never. They just might have a funny way of showing it. After all, admit it, sometimes you have a funny way of showing it as well. Which reminds me, loosen up. You’re loose enough with other people yet you can be quite stiff when it comes to them. Understandably, you just want to instill discipline. The thing is, kids don’t like stiff, that is a constant anywhere. You certainly didn’t like it when you were a kid.

You want to feel appreciated? Make extra effort. Hey, don’t complain. Nobody said it’s going to be easy. In fact, most adults have warned us before, “You’ll only understand where we’re coming from once you’ve got children yourself.” I mean, yeah, we all knew that already. Nevertheless, becoming parents ourselves is one big reality check that we—you—cannot undo. 

Relax. The world wasn’t built in a day so don’t expect children to change into saintly angels overnight. Pray hard, though, that the teen years won’t be turbulent. That is one phase most parents often deal with however much they would rather avoid it.

Remember, no mother is perfect, ergo, no motherhood is, too. Even robots are not perfect and they don’t become mothers (unless we go all-sci-fi here). Other people will always have opinions on how you are supposed to raise your kids  – you know how their own kids turned out and/or are turning out, so really,…??? Take the good and leave the bad, be guided by the right moral compass. Nevermind the haters and know-it-alls who, in reality, hate their own failures and know much less than you do.

 So what to do? Just try to enjoy being a mother and take it easy on yourself, that’s what. Believe in yourself, stay calm, be cool and…have lots of HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYS!!!!!!

 

Love,

Your Conscience

gi-and-kids

The Kids and I

 

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This is my mother with me in probably the last photo taken of us together

 

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My sister and her daughter a few years back…Happy Mother’s Day, Ate

Again,…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYSSSS TO ALL MOMS!!!!

Office Blogmates #atozchallenge2014

Honestly, it took me this long to post something because for my idea, I couldn’t find two audio files that I was supposedly going to share. Well, seeing that I’m way past schedule, I thought I’d post something to do about OFFICE instead.

It was really my original theme, but I couldn’t decide what to write about it exactly. I now realize that since we’re all about blogging anyway, I think I should introduce to you past and present officemates who also actively blog and whom I follow. I also realize this is a way better idea. Why didn’t I think about that before?

So folks, here are my office blogmates, from my first “offices” to my current one. Let’s start with…

JONAS DIEGO

Technically, Jonas Diego and I were officemates, having worked together for a college radio station, which was technically not an office, but anyhoo. He maintains JonasDiego.com, naturally, and its spawns, TheBlurb, which is a webcomic, and I Want Work, which is an online classified ads blog over at Blogspot.

“Jonas, …also continues to participate in events and activities which push his advocacy of a thriving, vibrant, and sustainable Philippines Comic Book Industry.” I used to say he was one of those responsible for the birth of the Philippine comics convention dubbed Komikon, but was just recently corrected. I do think that he also had a lot to do with promoting the local comics industry these past years, so I still say, good job, Raven! (He probably hates it now when he’s called this, but I’m just so used to it!)

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JonasDiego.com

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The Blurb Webcomics

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I Want Work!

THE PROFESSIONAL HECKLER

As far as I can remember, Loi Landicho a.k.a. The Professional Heckler really had been quite the funnyman and a heckler even before the fame. He was a classmate and I got to work with him in the school paper (that’s technically an office, too, since it did have one). So you know, he’s no stranger to writing and politics. He’s a trivia-freak, too, and I guess that comes with the territory.

Witty Loi, or his more famous monicker, Professional Heckler, is now a multi-awarded political humorist-blogger. He quotes Henry Cate VII: “The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” True, that.

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The Professional Heckler

TONYO CRUZ

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TonyoCruz.com

Another one from the school paper. I also knew Tonyo Cruz as witty and a good writer-journalist. I remember Editorial meetings and he would be one of those very animatedly discussing topics and fervently debating. I’ve only recently discovered his blog because I’ve also only reconnected with him.

That aside, I have known and heard from the grapevine that Tonyo has stayed quite active as a political — uh — activist (it’s not redundant, is it?). Looks like he hasn’t shown any signs of stopping. Right now, he writes for a column in one of the big national dailies. His blog, TonyoCruz.com also has its share of awards.

FRANCES BELDIA

frances-beldia

Cure4Mondays

Technically, we were not officemates. In a sense, we had a non-working relationship. You see, I was already out of the magazine I worked for when she joined the publication. I got to know her because they still needed information from me and I got to visit them. To make the long story short, here we are, blogmates.

Frances Beldia calls her blog Cure4Mondays, “a mom blog on homeschooling, kids and family activities, events, reviews on books, movies, products, life in Manila and the rewards and stresses that come with it.” She hasn’t been that much active lately, but I find her blog to be a nice read.

ANDOYMAN KOMIKERO

The office was really where I met this guy. We were not exactly talking much until the topic of comic books (his forte) and, later on, of forensic science (my interest) came up. That was when Andy Edoria really began his career in the comics industry as Andoyman Komikero. He has since also begun to carve his own niche in the industry and it seems things are going the positive route.

andoyman-komikero

Andoyman Komikero

Andy already has several comics to his name, the series titled Ang Sumpa, in particular. He has also drawn for others, most notably for the elusive Bob Ong, whom he has communicated with only online and unfortunately hasn’t even met in person.

MEIKAH DELID

Until last month, she was an officemate, our Operations Manager, in fact. Our OM had been the most active blogger, if not the only one, save from myself. Every time she logged into YM to which we were all connected, she imparted words of wisdom by posting relevant quotes as her status messages.

Miss Meikah, more endearingly known as Miss Meiks, imparts more wisdom through her blog Mama is Working. “This blog chronicles my daily parenting challenges and triumphs. I will be talking mostly about the lessons I am learning about parenting, motherhood, womanhood, keeping a home and pursuing a career,” she says.

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Mama is Working

[IMPORTANT NOTE: I have un-linked from Mama is Working. Miss Meiks can now be found and followed at Mom in Midlife.]

JANE C.

This is my youngest blogmate. Fresh out of college, Jane C. is not exactly a neophyte when it comes to blogging, having maintained several blogs before deciding to keep her WordPress one called Etcetera. Basically, she says it’s for random stuff, but if I am to summarize it, it’s a blog for travels with friends, retro music, fun runs and baking experiments (that me and our officemates often get to taste-test). She’s done some fiction in WattPad, too.

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Etcetera

 

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The Meeka and Lexy Project

Jane also isn’t that new in writing, having written for a magazine (not the one I worked for) during and post-internship. Plus, while not currently updated, she has maintained with a friend another blog that has “Three missions: grab every grub in town, sweat ’em out, and type ’em all down” — The Meeka and Lexy Project.

(Oh and she’s part of the A-to-Z Challenge so you might want to check her blog out as well)

MADMA

I only got to work with Marvin Salazar for a short period of time. I was new at work and he was about to go. He was really quiet, poised and contemplative. The most times we really spoke was whenever I shared Fita biscuits with him as his station was next to mine. So imagine my surprise and confusion to find that this person who soon somehow made a name in the blogworld as Madma and Marvin the Quiet were one and the same!

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Yours Truly, Madma

He owns the blog Yours Truly, Madma where he dishes out socio-political commentaries, gives sensible if not somewhat naughty advice particularly on sexuality, and shares other fun, funny and more naughty stuff. The language may not be to your liking but that’s how he is. Madma’s blog gained quite a following when, well I don’t know how it all started exactly, but he ended up holding an online fashion modeling contest where anyone could join and others could comment and vote for which photos they deemed best and most appropriate for the week’s theme. That was a blast!

 

And that, my friends, are my office blogmates. I hope you give their blogs a visit to see for yourselves why I follow them. 🙂

 

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Did you like checking out their blogs? Then feel free to LIKE this page and theirs 😀 There is another person I was thinking of including in the list but I am not sure if it’s okay with her. Will update once I get her go signal.

This post is for the…

a-to-z-challenge

“MOTHERHOOD KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES”

It’s the love month yet! What better way to celebrate love than to pay tribute to the reason why we are all here alive, living and loving? This is a story of a young mother’s love. We’re months ahead of Mother’s Day, but it’s nice to celebrate the bond between mother and child. Of course, we do not belittle fathers, but real men understand this.

I am not a mother so I asked someone to guest blog. Actually, I asked permission to reblog something she wrote. Technically, it’s not exactly a reblog as I read it on her Facebook page, but we’re not strict here *wink!* I was supposed to post this next Sunday, but seeing a recently shared post in FB that is eliciting a lot of comments, I decided there’s no better time than today.

Folks, let’s meet Lorie and her cute baby…ENJOY!!! 🙂

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MOTHERHOOD KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES

(Lorie Dazo)

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Baby and her equally cute mom, Lorie

I just had my APE taken. The doctor who administered my physical exam was a “he.” That was probably the reason why the nurse handled the breast and anal examinations. I would have not minded, after all, I had been naked in front of strangers of both genders twice. And the last vivid memory I have of my recent childbirth is that of a male-nurse (or a doctor) holding my left breast as another nurse put my newborn on my chest so that the baby could have its taste of the first milk.

Because I have been actively breastfeeding my newborn, I have become shameless. I can probably claim that I have mastered the art of breastfeeding in public. With a brave front, I have demanded for special privileges in public places, asked to be provided a decent breastfeeding station. It has allowed my baby to peacefully latch on before I put a scarf around her and dare face the public again.

Inside the house, I became less conscious about the privacy of my own body as I am more concerned about pacifying my baby whenever she howls (yes, howl) out of hunger anywhere in the house. I am unmindful of the fact that our new home has glass windows, and no, we have not installed curtains yet, nor blinds, and that my sister winces every time she sees the exposed breast. Only when there are relatives of the opposite sex do I put a scarf around us or secure a private area to breastfeed. This is not out of shame, but out of courtesy, for they would probably be unwilling to witness such an intimate scene.

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No, my dears, that is NOT the father 😉 As for Baby…feeding time!!!

This is also the first pregnancy that I have no immediate interest to regain my size, or to whiten the darkened areas of my skin. I am actually anxious that anything I take may affect the lactation of my child. I have probably lost interest or perhaps I am more interested in the welfare of my baby rather than in being pleasant-looking. And since I am breastfeeding, gone are the days that my husband would help me take care of the child during the night or in the wee hours of the morning as I am the only one she probably needs when she wakes up.

I have been more tired than ever, barely remembering how I survived post-pregnancy after my first child. I sometimes wonder if I have made the right decision to breastfeed my second child, then I remember that it was not my choice. The baby chose it. She wants me. As opposed to my first-born who refused and hated being breastfed, my newborn hates the bottled counterpart. She loves to be cuddled warmly and safely onto my chest as she sucks out all the weight I gained during pregnancy. Yes, if there is one positive outcome in relation to my physical appearance, it is that thanks to breastfeeding, I am losing weight. And losing weight fast.

A few more days and I will formally return to work (formally, as I have been using my leaves, working and checking the output of my colleagues). That will mean that I cannot be disturbed for a full eight hours. I do not know how my baby will adapt to this, but we have introduced bottle feeding to her in the last two weeks (my child has no choice but to be bottlefed during those hours).

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This is one of her latest pics, taken a few days ago. What a cutie patootie!

During the two months that I have been breastfeeding my child, I have learned a lot of misconceptions regarding breastfeeding and have affirmed a lot of positive results from it as well. Most of all, I am happy that my baby is as healthy as I want her to be, with all her limbs and cheeks full and bright.

With aching breasts, I am moving on to probably more tiresome days ahead. But this, I can say: I have embraced motherhood, wholeheartedly, finally.

handcrafted-token

Mommy is a crafts-freak, and that’s a good thing. This is a token for Baby’s Christening this coming Sunday, February 23…Welcome to the world, Baby!!!

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In case you were wondering, this is the image posted on Facebook that I was talking about

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: LORELIE DAZO is now a mother of two. She is a colleague but don’t ask me what she does, it’s complicated 😉 She says in her blog, “I love doing crafts. I love painting. I am happy with what I have.” You can find her at lcdazo.wordpress.com. It still doesn’t have much but hopefully I can make her write more jewels like this 🙂

Meanwhile, may I emphasize, Miss Dazo owns ALL copyrights to the article and photos, with the exception of the last image (cartoon). None of what she owns may be copied from here. Contact her first, if you want to use her piece, especially the photos.

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Thank you for reading! We both hope you enjoyed it.

As you can see, somebody’s sharing of a Facebook post regarding breastfeeding in public prompted me to bump the schedule of this blog post a few days earlier. I personally do not mind mothers feeding their kids in public. It is a bit awkward as, like most people here, I grew up in a conservative society, but I’ve realized long ago that breastfeeding is a natural and important process. As I told the author, I am actually often really concerned about others who may be ogling. Fortunately, most breastfeeding moms know how to properly position their babies so, you know, sorry, folks, nothing to see here. Go on, turn and walk away, that’s right… 🙂

What are your thoughts on this? Let us know by answering the poll and posting comments. BTW, opinions are allowed, but it is never a reason to disrespect so please mind your manners.