No Turning Back

January. It signifies a lot of new things, right? Not only the year, but many create resolutions and many make plans. Well, me, too. But for me, January 2015 is the start of something else (and basically why I couldn’t find much time to post in the past weeks).

Why January was because of people’s conflict of schedules last December, which would have been a great month for it, and because if we consider the Chinese calendar (I’m probably practically 0% Chinese), it’s still technically 2014, deemed a great year to take the plunge. So I took the plunge:


Yes, folks, I am now half of a two-person team, one of them crazy peeps who thought they would be settling down when in reality, it would actually be the opposite.

Yeah, I know, I know, why couldn’t I jut stay single and be happy? One well-meaning friend even kind of tried to dissuade me, saying she just wanted me to enjoy my life after what I went through when my parents both got sick and passed away. But the thing was I enjoyed my life best when I was, and now am, with him. Mushy, I know, but there’s just no other way to put it.


It was a very simple wedding but I still wanted a cake to cut, wine for the couple drink or whatever you call it, and souvenirs such as this one. Photo and copyright ©  J.Gi Federizo

I mean I’m not even the party-hard, travel-much kind of person and I’m kind of a cheapskate, anyway, I’m not ashamed to admit. I just love to laze around, write, read, watch TV, talk about trivial and foolish things, even have deep and intellectually stimulating or enhancing conversations. People know I like to talk and I can spend hours doing it. Lots of times, I like to be alone, too, doing my own thing. So you see, things I enjoy need not be only experienced if I stayed single.

Don’t get me wrong. I am still an advocate of single-blessedness, as I had staunchly expressed in the past. I do not necessarily advocate being single, nor being married, for that matter. I am advocating the freedom to choose and live as your status. Whatever you think will work for you.

It just so happens that married life seems to be what’s going to work for me and well, there’s no other alternative but to do my–our–hardest to make it work. I will not be a fool and pretend that everything is going to be smooth-sailing. It won’t be and if I were to be honest, there will surely be lots of bumps on the road. But the best road isn’t just one that is less traveled, but one you keep traveling on despite bumps and everything else. That’s what keeps the whole journey worth it, right?

Marriage is when you choose to be merry together as you age. Okay, I made that one up, but I like it so sue me 😉


Last November 2, a childhood friend (we were classmates/schoolmates from second grade to college) and I met up. It was unplanned since she just sent a text message in the morning. She was visiting her mother’s grave that’s in our city and would I care to get together after. I had to let her wait, though, because my plan for that day was to revisit my parents’ grave (there’s only one grave and that’s normal in the country) in the afternoon. Needless to say, we did meet up and went to a coffee shop to catch up.

We got to talk about the upcoming high school reunion and naturally, we got to talk about marriage and the lack of it. This reminded me of a piece I wrote years ago about single-hood and promised to share to her. Fast-forward to this day and surprisingly , she shared one of yesterday’s (November 7) articles at the BBC website, and it really is, as she said, in line with our discussion. In fact, I am so surprised it said a lot of stuff that I myself discussed! What a coincidence. The author did say the word “spinster” is kind of offensive, but I don’t find it like that, not really. It’s just another term for single people. I have belatedly realized I did not discuss about homo/bisexuality in my piece, but then I guess that’s a more specific topic that deserves more focus especially now that there are places that allow same-sex marriages (I wrote this 2005). That aside, I think gays can still relate to most of the stuff and may have even experienced worse, given the ongoing discrimination around.

Well, I have made up my mind to share again my piece. It is kind of long so if you’re not the type to endure long reads, I suggest you read by bits, just make sure you come back. Any violent reactions are welcome, as long as they are written in a civilized manner and it would help if you could justify why you don’t agree, or at least share your thoughts on the matter. I have simply attached the document so click on those big red letters below.



Meanwhile, this is the online article I am referring to: Why are couples so mean to single people?