Butterfly Kisses and Lullabies

Today marks my anniversary here in WordPress, though I’m not posting because of that. I really wanted to pay tribute to my father, whose birthday it was yesterday. I was thinking of making my #FeatureFriday about him, but there was no time as I went to a somewhat going-away party. Then yesterday came, I wanted to post something then, except I could not exactly get the WiFi to work properly, not that it’s working that well now. I did light candles and prayed for him. So now, here I am. I just can’t not post this. He was the first man I ever loved.

In some sort of way, I was Daddy’s Girl. Sort of. My mother had problems with all three pregnancies, even lost my older brother who was the actual second child. I didn’t ask, but I assume now that they stopped after having me due to health issues. Having no boy in the family, I somehow became the surrogate son. That would explain my boyish nature. Incidentally, I think he was the one who was most afraid I was growing up with a boy’s sexual orientation.

He was very wrong. He did not live long enough to find out, though. I never had a chance to introduce him to any guy, mainly because I never had any prior to meeting my future husband.

Honestly, I did dream of the day that he would walk me down the aisle. I would imagine how he would’ve felt. I imagined how I would’ve. Would he have tears in his eyes? Would I have? I didn’t exactly walk down the aisle at my civil wedding, but foretelling the future isn’t my strong suit, right?

So what I have for him are these these two songs, my imagined scenarios, from the POV of a father and of his daughter. They’re not exact–I never rode a pony and, at sixteen, I was looking more like him than my mother–but they are the perfect songs still.

The first is a 90s song from Bob Carlisle, probably came out in 1999, because I remember obliging to a song rendition request of it before Y2K. The second, a local 80s song, if I’m correct, from Filipino popular singer-songwriter Jose Mari Chan and (now) respected film/stage actress and sometimes singer Cherie Gil.

Butterfly Kisses

 

Sing Me A Song Again, Daddy (NOT sure if it’s really “a song” as I always thought she said “your song”)

 

I’ll see you again, Dade. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

I Will Remember You

Today, September 10, is my father’s birthday. If he were still here, he would be 73. I would probably be home and he, my mother and I would be eating something special together at the dinner table. If not tonight, I would make sure to be home this weekend to spend the special day with the family.

He would have complete rein over the TV…Well, maybe not complete; it would not be realistic if we didn’t fight over it a bit . Maybe we’d playfully spar a little, too (I was his “alternative son”, anyway), or I’d kiss him so hard on the cheek that would make him cry out, or I’d tickle his belly that would send him laughing hysterically and my mother would shout at me to stop it. Of course, my sister and her family would most definitely be calling from Surigao to greet him, and he would be so happy hearing from his grandchild whom he didn’t remember most of the time but she was always in his heart.

I would be gifting him with a jacket or a baseball cap or even food that would be just specially for him. Since he became home-bound, it was not easy to think of other kinds of gifts for someone like him anymore. But you know what? He was always glad to receive and he would wear the clothes or cap as proudly as he wore jackets and caps back when he was still Sir Federizo, the P.E. teacher who taught most of the barrio kids how to play excellent volleyball and brought them to athletic meets — the glory days that seemed just years ago to him. If it’s food, he would be teasing my mother, taunting her because I gave it to him and she had none, then he would laugh his happy laugh like he pulled a funny trick on you.

If his birthday happened to be on a Saturday, for sure, we would be watching Maalaala Mo Kaya. My mother and I would wait till end credits. The theme song would start and there would be a sudden sparkle in his eyes like he remembered a lovely memory, but before he could say something, I’d blurt out without pause, “Dade, you sang that song in a choir when you were fourteen, right, because your teacher made you all sing, but you didn’t really sing and just moved your mouth and your group won second place anyway!” He would give an amused or astonished look wondering how in the world I knew, then laugh scratching his head after my telling him how. Every time we watched it in many years, he would always proudly tell the story like it was the first time.

Well I miss that. And that was why even though some probably thought it corny, it was one of the songs I requested that be played as we laid him to rest on May 27, 2012. Of course, I cried. And for a long time I refrained from watching the show. if only to avoid the song. But I miss his face, his voice, his laughter, his stories. So today, I would like to send this special gift to him, one that I know he will hear.

I love you, Dade, and I miss you, and yes, palagi kitang maaalala, narito ka sa puso ko (I will always remember you, you are here in my heart).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADE KONG MAKULIT

The song above was sung by Dulce and is the most-played (I think) and best (my opinion) version. Lyrics below. First in Filipino, then my English translation, although I’d rather call it interpretation because I did my own take on it a bit:

 

MAALAALA MO KAYA

Written and Composed by Constancio de Guzman

Maalaala mo kaya ang sumpa mo sa akin
Na ang pag-ibig mo ay sadyang di magmamaliw?
Kung nais mong matanto, buksan ang aking puso
At tanging larawan mo ang doo’y nakatago

“Di ka kaya magbago sa iyong pagmamahal?”
Hinding-hindi giliw ko hanggang sa libingan

O kay sarap mabuhay, lalo na’t may lambingan
Ligaya sa puso ko ay di na mapaparam

 

WOULD YOU STILL REMEMBER

Would you still remember a promise made
That your love for me would never ever fade?
Look inside my heart, should you wish to see
And you shall find only an image of you in me

“Could you possibly have a change of heart?”
No, never, my darling, till death do us part

Oh, what wonderful life, to share love so tender
My happy heart will stay with you forever

 

PLEASE TAKE NOTE: The translation above should not, in any way, be taken as an official translation. It is only a translation I made so that people will understand. However, doesn’t mean you can just copy off and not give credit or link here….Thanks for understanding.

For that Special Man…

Each of us–well, most of us, at least–grew up with the best dad in the world. Not perfect, but the best for us, because no other dad on this earth can love and care for us as much as our own dad. So to mine whom I never fail to miss everyday, I love you, Dade. I hope that someway, somehow, I am making you and Mame proud enough to call me your daughter. Not perfect, too, but hopefully I am the best me that I can be for you.

So to YOU and all the great dads…