“SANG-FROID”

Day 9 (for November 9) of the #NaNoPoblano2021 challenge, here we go! Major Theme: “A Few of My Earliest Things”. Sub-theme: “10 of My Earliest Poems”. You can find more of my poems (written from high school up to, well, now) at the POETRY NOOK.

I decided to reblog this because I really like it. I’ve shared this in past blogs already and it’s been published somewhere else once or twice. I wrote this for the first ever writing group I was a part of.

The End Justifies the Journey

Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

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The End Justifies the Journey

It is easy to be depressed. It is easy to be mad. It is easy to just meet fire with fire. But the harder thing to do is to just sit down and let the fire burn till it dies…Today, I am reminded that you cannot teach others new tricks when they don’t want to learn using their hearts. I am not perfect, but I know I try to be the kind of person I have to be, not just the kind of person I want to be.

The End Justifies the Journey

the-way-of-the-TAO

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If I inspire You, Then I’m Happy #AskWednesday

confused-girlIt’s #AskWednesday!!! Actually, it’s supposed to be…No, wait…Alright, now I’m lost! HA HA HAAAA!!!! I’ve been trying to fix my hashes (read: hashtagged days), but I ran into a few problems (mainly non-blog related).

So just to let you know, there won’t be anymore throwbacks on Thursdays as #MondayMemoirs can take care of that, and tips will be moved from Tuesdays to Thursdays. These changes will hopefully help. Meanwhile, I do have an interview in line, one with a friend, but for now, I present to you this. I have decided to officially (finally!) accept my blogger-friend Christine Robinson’s Very Inspiring Blogger Award. It’s to kill two birds with one stone, too.

On her page, she urged us whom she listed to just choose any of the awards presented there, or to maybe choose the Bouquet of Flowers Award instead. I decided to go for the this one because she did give it to me, as she mentioned in the comments thread of my Useless Bits page, except the link is no longer there.

Honestly, I really feel honored. To be called inspiring, wow! I really do hope I inspire more people even with my limited abilities. Anyway, this is today’s post for today’s hash since Rule #4 is somehow synonymous to getting interviewed. Now, remember, some of us bloggers have made our own rules about the freedom to not follow blog rules. It just so happens that I don’t mind answering *wink!*

The Rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.

Thanked her long ago. And there’s the link above, which you don’t need to wring my arm for–I would’ve shared it, rule or no rule.

2. Display the award on your post.

See left side. There you go.

3. List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.

I didn’t delete this one because “3” does come before “4”. Also, in case someone decides to nominate fellow-bloggers for this award, too.

4. State 7 things about yourself.

I wanted to have a sort of theme here, but couldn’t decide what, so whatever comes to mind…

  1. I am more drawn to blogs that have more “personality”. I don’t mean like they tend to be popular or anything, but that they have a more personal touch, that I can feel a sense of the blogger, how s/he is, who s/he is, what s/he does, what s/he feels…So even if s/he only has these few followers or appears to have none, I wouldn’t mind following. There are blogs that have lots of writing here and there, but the bloggers do not really share themselves. I don’t feel that connected to them, like I’m just supposed to follow and admire from a distance…Sorry for the honesty, folks…
  2. I think, people who can very well confront you NOW and talk to you calmly, but decide to keep mum then take to social media to air only their side of the story, with matching insults, and saying something insulting (about your looks, your lack of education, your poverty) that’s not even related to the issue, they’re either cowards or bullies or both. We have had something like that go viral here, but the poster got much of the flak instead, and not that she didn’t deserve it. I also was kind of a victim a few weeks ago. I was just told about it by very credible sources, but I didn’t even try to know the exact words. Not worth my time. Besides, what was she doing practically giving a shout out when she knew we weren’t even contacts? DUH….Sorry again, guys,…I hope I’m not becoming uninspiring, he he.
  3. When I was a tweener, I heard the old song ‘Don’t Cry Joni’ and teared up at the end. Oh, and I’ve liked ‘Earth Angel’ from the first time I heard it from the movie Back to the Future.
  4. I’m kind of a sucker for old songs, especially those with stories.
  5. I wrote songs. Not so good. ‘Nuff said.
  6. I’m just feisty when I get confronted with something immediately (I can be very mad, which I’m not proud of) or when I come to a point when you’ve pushed me to the limits. But when not, expect me to answer you very calmly, which is what I want, because nothing really gets resolved when people shout at one another. I know that for a fact.
  7. I don’t take revenge or, as they say, get even. But it doesn’t say I will back down when I know I am in the right.

Strangely, I think I will lose this award….LOL!!!!

receive-award5. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award.

I nominate you all!!!! You all inspire me to blog!!!!

Thank you again for the award, C.E.!!!!

 

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To see more #AskWednesday posts, just put that in the search box, click on the button and you’ll be good to go 🙂

Any interesting interviews you’d like to share, though? Come, share!

‘Tis the Season #atozchallenge2015

For those who know me personally, it’s no secret that the recent years have not been that kind to my family. But still we continued and continue living, regardless of those hardships.

I do have to say that the emotional and mental fatigue, if not the physical, can sometimes take its toll. I also have to say that the same things often keep me from writing. I can go on and on about my problems or how this or that person has been mean to me or my family, but this is not what my blog is about. I want to let go of the anger and the angsts, yes, but not dwell on them more.

Writing is great therapy for loneliness, etcetera, yet I have realized that when it comes to anger, it just does not work for me personally. I get to express, but I never get to forgive, much less forget, so I just ignore the urge to do it. Anger does not help me in my self-cultivation. It’s what’s been keeping me from becoming more of a better me.

So please understand why I can go on week after week not posting a simple hello. I can’t, for various reasons – lack of time, lack of resources, sometimes plain lack of energy and urge.

What I have been saying in the last posts, that I am somewhat under medication, is true. It’s really not something bad: I AM PREGNANT. Yay!!!! Yeah, blessing right? Of course, it is.

But though it’s not bad, it’s still serious as I have been taking meds for months now to make sure the baby develops, that there would be a heartbeat. I have age and my recent history of miscarriage against me. Thankfully, it’s been growing these last months, almost four months in January, and does have a heartbeat. I don’t want to fail at this again…

It sounds easy enough, but sometimes we run out of resources, and there are other factors, that it has been a kind of mental and emotional torture for me considering we’re still in the crucial first trimester. These…things have made me more stressed out and irritable to the point that it is hard for me to contain what I feel.

It has come to a point that other people have come to judge me and say I am making life hell for my family. Do you know how it feels like to go through something like this and be judged by the very people who have watched me grow and should have known that I may not be the nicest person, but I would never make life hell for my family? I may not be the nicest, but didn’t they see the sacrifices I made three years ago to save my family? I tried to lessen the physical hell my parents were experiencing within themselves the best way I could even if I was not sure of the outcome. It hurts so freakin’ bad that they would say this about me especially when I know they could tell other people and I wouldn’t have the chance to defend myself…But okay, you know, you gotta ignore no matter how hard.

But anyway, I said I don’t like writing about anger and angsts and yet, here I am. Today is Christmas, it’s the season to self-reflect and, hopefully, be kind to everyone. I will not lie and say I’m being kind, but I am still trying and praying that God forgives me for I am still a hard work in progress. There’s the New Year ahead and like I always say, there is nothing wrong with resolutions, so I’ll try to work on my list 🙂

Anyway. thank you all, for your friendship, online or not, and you will all be in my prayers tonight, that’s for sure.

So let me just greet you a…

I pray that you all enjoy this season and strive for the “merry” in Merry Christmas 😀

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And because I have not posted for the #AtoZChallenge again, please let this be my “S” post for the challenge, “S” for “season”. Just give this to me, please…? 😉

S

My Jekyll-and-Hyde-ness #atozchallenge2015

NOTE: This was written pre-WordPress…

 MY JEKYLL-AND-HYDE-NESS

The other night, Dr. Positive Jekyll made this decision:

Once again, I will delve in the art of letting go. Hard, true, but necessary.

Sometimes, letting go does not only mean setting others free. Sometimes, it means setting yourself free. For what good is holding on when you know the inevitable? That eventually, it is you who will slip and fall to your own demise? I know that if I keep holding on now, the suffering would be much greater than I make myself believe at times.

So now, I let go, while my wings are still unclipped, free to fly to somewhere unknown and unfamiliar. Why not? It’s a live-and-learn process. I live, therefore, I learn, and I welcome the wisdom it brings. Obstacles will abound, but the rewards are always greater after the rain. There is gold at the end of the rainbow, for me to take, to feel, to taste.

Even leprechauns need to let go at times.

 

Last night…

All I could do was doodle and write words like “What am I?”, “Sh*t happens”, “Stupid idiot”, and “Freaky”… Hello, Miss Negative Hyde.

 

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Some days, I feel like a different person. It’s like, you’d like to keep being Miss Jekyll, but Miss Hyde just decides to show up when she feels like it, especially when she’s mad. My husband calls it “going Incredible Hulk.” He warns our naughty and rowdy kids, “You’d better do what she says or she’ll go Incredible Hulk on you again.”  No one wants to see me mad. You wouldn’t.

Anyway, this post is brought to you by the letter “P” for “Personality”.

P

How to Solve Conflicts

solving-conflictsI am not the most patient person around. My bad temper has considerably lessened. But when something, or someone, suddenly pulls my trigger, man, do I erupt! Now, I am far from being proud about this. I know that more than the other person’s, it is my own fault because I let him/her and the situation get to me. It really all boils down to communication to avoid conflicts.

Having good communication skills does not only mean getting your message across successfully. Think first before you shoot. This just might save your relationships. Familiarity does not necessarily breed contempt, however, we tend to take the people around us for granted and we become so careless with our words and actions. Thus, the conflicts, anger, word wars, sometimes cold wars. What drama. I’ve narrowed down some cautionary methods for you to try and avoid further conflicts.

1. “DEAL WITH THE NOW” Do not dredge up the past. When we’re mad, we oftentimes refer back to the other’s past mistakes that may even be unrelated to the new problem. That is the real delay and drains up energy. Concentrate on both your feelings and how to fix the problem. Stick with the current issue.

2. “LEND YOUR EARS MORE” Communication is a two-way traffic . Give him the chance to explain and try to understand where he’s coming from. So listen, do not just hear. You’ll have your own opportunity to explain as well. There is always more than one point of view in every story. Try not to emphasize on blame but rather, focus on finding a solution. It’s not a contest.

3. “ACCEPT C/SC” That’s Criticism/Self-Criticism. In a disagreement, there’s bound to be criticism aimed at you by the other party. Just accept and keep calm for you’ll have the chance to speak, as mentioned above. Try to gauge how much of what he says may be true about you. Self-criticize. You might be surprised to find you could be in the wrong.

4. “OWN UP” Once you find you are in the wrong, don’t be afraid to apologize.

Communication is always the key to a more peaceful living. 🙂