First Time It was Published: HULING SIGAW

Day 24 of the #NaNoPoblano2021 challenge, now a.k.a. “NaDePoblano” (heee….) . Major Theme: “A Few of My Earliest Things”. New sub-theme: “First Published”. Related post: My Evolution as a Writer. Related page: Poetry Nook.

This is the first time I am sharing the poem here. However, the FIRST TIME IT WAS PUBLISHED was, of all things, in the official publication of the tertiary school I worked for. I don’t remember to whom I submitted it, but I know I asked if I could share a poem. The truth was I was not sure of my choice. I don’t remember why I chose it among all my poems. I think it was because it had not been published anywhere yet. My worry was the sensitive topic of the poem.

This is HULING SIGAW or LAST CRY (“cry” here means scream). If anyone tries to understand it enough, this person will realize it is related to suicide. Related, but not about the act of committing suicide itself. I was referring to the act of writing the suicide note, one’s final goodbye, her feelings of hopelessness and personal grief…I was worried because the publication was to be distributed to the staff, faculty and alumni. I didn’t want them to think that sharing it was my own cry for help.

I was not suicidal when I wrote it. In fact, on the contrary. I was SMILING when I wrote it. I don’t remember what inspired me to do so. But I remember my excitement when I was creating it. Let me make it clear, though. I was/am NOT advocating suicide, I was/am NOT suicidal. I guess it’s similar to a screenwriter who gets inspired writing a horror movie. He doesn’t necessarily like horrific things. See the point?

Anyway, I’m glad I pushed through with it. It made me proud because Mrs. Consolacion P. Sauco, the Filipino Department Head, loved it! She told me so when she saw me. I was so happy because she happened to be a well-respected author who’s an expert in the Filipino language. I can’t find an actual biography of hers, but Googling her shows the various stuff she wrote or translated. For her to give me praise for what I wrote was really something!

For anyone who understands Filipino, here it is. I have been trying to translate it in English for years but I never get to finish because I never get satisfied. I promise to share the English version once I actually translate it completely….By the way, to be more specific, I was the Public Relations and Advertising Assistant. They most times never got that right.

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