Thanking My Ate #NaNoPoblano2020 #My2020

Happy Thanksgiving! This is for anyone who celebrates the special occasion. How are you celebrating it, guys?

Like in many other countries, the Philippines does not celebrate it. That’s despite America’s history with and influence on us. It’s their own history after all. However, it’s always good to give thanks to those who help, love, care for, and inspire us.

Today, I want to share something. This was a birthday greeting to my ate (big sister) on September 20, 2019. I feel that sharing it here is another chance to express my gratitude. Until the day I posted it, I never really told people how much I appreciated my sister…

My big sister Janeth a.k.a. Jeng to many, but simply Ate to me

As most siblings stories go, ours was typical at the start. We were far from the best of friends. We often fought like other siblings often do — Little Sis keeps following like a puppy, Big Sis gets annoyed and tries to ditch her. And yet, we had the most in common in the family. I guess that’s mainly because she influenced me the most.

Me and My Ate. We didn’t always get along when we were young, but we did have our moments

From her, I learned to appreciate books. Because of her, I developed a genuine and deeper love for music and art. And thanks to her belief in me, I learned to believe in myself and write…I have never thanked her for her contributions in my life, so I am taking this opportunity: THANK YOU, ATE.

You know I love you no matter what. I know you love me, too, in your own way. Even when I say “I love you” and make you feel awkward. **Kahit tinatarayan mo ako (kabog naman kasi ako sa iyo,,he he). Please, let us never forget our promise: NO FIGHTING!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I LOVE YOU!!! I WISH FOR YOU HEALTH AND A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE, ALWAYS.

**Even when you lose your temper at me (I’m really no match to you when it comes to temper, ha ha).”

To be very, very honest, I posted that because I felt the end could be any month, any day, or even any time soon. I didn’t want her to go without knowing how much she really meant to me.

Our parents left and I was never sure that they knew how much they meant to me. They probably felt it, but sometimes, people need to hear “I love you” to be reassured. My father was already different for the longest time that even if I said it just now, he’d forget a few minutes later. My mother, when she was bed-ridden, that was when I kept telling it to her and showed it with hugs and kisses. But most of those times, or maybe even the whole time, she was not anymore in a proper state of mind…

Mr. and Mrs. Federizo

So you can understand my intention about the post, right?

It has always been said that you should say “I love you” while your loved ones are still in this world. Do not wait until it’s too late. That is why I often tell people how much I love or appreciate them. I had been telling my sister and she would, at first, laugh awkwardly at times. She’d kind of say, “Alright already”, a bit in a dismissive way. But I knew she loved me even so. It took a while before she felt comfortable saying it back.

The last months had me so worried. She wasn’t in great shape. Far from it. I was so worried she’d contract the virus. That could be hell for her, dealing with her illnesses, not being in her proper mind all the time, then being left alone in the care of people she didn’t know. I kept hoping that if it came to that, her caregivers would understand her and be kind to her. I salute our medical frontliners. But let’s face it. Not everyone can be so kind and patient.

To be even more honest, while her passing away was still a surprise and, yes, I cried, I was also relieved. She was no longer in pain and God spared her from the worst possible scenario. Most important, she literally went away happy and smiling. She got her wishes.

I don’t know how to end this post. Just maybe with this:

Let us LOVE, always. Show it. Tell it. Feel it.

Say I Love You. Then thank them for being a part of you.