Hey, World, Guess We Hate 2020 #NanoPoblano2020 #My2020

Yes. It’s me. One year after.

My lone post back in February aside, the last time I posted was in November….LAST YEAR.  So, yes, I missed greeting you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, even a Happy Valentine’s, and all those other greetings. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. But I’m back. Hopefully, for much longer. I know I always say that, but please know that I do mean it every time.

I was supposed to start posting last November 1, but November did not start right. A super typhoon hit the country hard. Then it was followed by several more typhoons. The last one just left a few days ago. They left parts of the country in shambles, so to speak. These are sad, sad days for the Philippines. Correction: It’s been a sad, sad year for us and most parts of the world. It was not only November that did not start right but Year 2020.

In all honesty, I wasn’t doing well long before 2020. There were personal struggles, most of which, I kept to myself. I’m used to dealing with personal struggles so I am able to handle things most times. Still, self-doubt is always something that can eat away your courage. 

Things got worse. My sister struggled with health problems for years. Every year, she’d be hospitalized. Last year, it started again around October. The worse part was she had to start going through dialysis. My brother-in-law and I kept consulting people and trying to decide the best thing to do. It seemed there was no other way but to start dialysis. And this naturally became another worry for me. It is really a longer story, but I don’t know if there is a need to say everything.

At the airport back in January 2015, the day after my wedding. My Ate was about to go back to Surigao. She went home to Laguna to see me get married. Her presence was very much needed — our parents had passed almost three years prior. She was my only family then. I wanted her here. Looking back now, I realize that was the last time that we were happy together. Her health got worse in the following months.

The good news is I was able to visit her in Surigao last February (went back home a few days after, which was already in March). The bad news is…she left us in May. She left me to join my parents. My family left ME. I am now orphaned by my whole family…So, I’m sorry, 2020, if I don’t like you. 

Alright. Year 2020 hasn’t been all bad. I did not lose my job, for one. I get to work from home, spend time with my new family, and be a teacher-mom. It’s actually hard work, believe me.

Well, I guess I should live through 2020 and the next year doing what I always do: I’ll wing it. As for you, I won’t ask how you’ve been (unless you want to volunteer information). I am pretty sure it hasn’t been that good to you either. I am also pretty sure you’ll do what I do.

Let’s wing it!

14 thoughts on “Hey, World, Guess We Hate 2020 #NanoPoblano2020 #My2020

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your sister. It must be over-fucking-whelming to be the last one in your family. And you’re still so young, but I’m glad you have your own little family at home now. Take good care, 2020 is almost over. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • TBH, I’m sad and I cry at times. But I don’t feel overwhelmed. I think it’s my defense mechanism. Whenever something devastating happens to me, I’m calm. It’s not even intentional a lot of times. I calm down so I can think. Also, in this case, there is a kind of relief. She is not anymore in pain. My biggest worry was that she’d be too weak that she’d contract COVID. I did not want her to go through that alone, considering that she usually wasn’t herself.

      It does help that I have my own family to focus on now.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. It must have been hard losing your family all over again, and good to hear you managed to spend some time with your sister before she left. The typhoons don’t sound too good either and the recent ones were destructive too :/ Hopefully 2021 will be a better year for you. This year over here has been weird… Lots of change and adapting and sometimes that gets weary. Take care and good to see you again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good to see you again, too! I hope you’re having a better 2020. These are really trying times. How are things there? I am not aware of how it is in Oz these days. I will definitely visit your blog again, see what wonderful writing I’ve missed.

      Like

      • We were in lockdown since March here in my part of Australia… It was a time of a lot of adjusting but once I adjusted, I was okay and don’t exactly want to go back to ‘normal’. If there’s anything this year has taught me, it is health is so important. You are so kind to want to visit my blog again… Thank you so much and take care.

        Liked by 1 person

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