I Ditched Mother’s Day

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYSSSS TO ALL MOMS!!!!

Mother’s Day came and went. I know it’s a great time to show how much we appreciate our moms  but, honestly, I did not want to dwell on it too much at the time.

While I am a mother by ‘chance’ (husband has two sons from his past relationship) and I do treat the kids as my own, my heart was secretly mad. I felt robbed of the chance to really feel what it’s like. Sure, I know, there are these two kids already and I do love them, no matter how strict I seem to them and to others. I know being a mother can mean a lot of things, that you don’t have to be the one to deliver a baby on this earth. It’s just I wish I did not have to experience my two heartaches.

Mother’s Day reminded me more of what I lost. It was like the occasion was rubbing my face in my “failures”. My heart was secretly mourning for my little ones that I only busied myself with cleaning up and fixing things inside the kids’ room. I did not even have the heart to try to go online and greet every mother on that special day. That’s because I did not want anyone greeting me as well – does that make sense?

I just wanted the day to be over so that I could greet them sometime later. Silly, I know, for I  only wanted to wallow in my misery for a while, something I cannot fully, logically explain. I guess it’s inevitable. As a mother, you just never forget. Emotion is not something you can easily turn on-and-off.

Well, today is my own special day and this is my gift: a greeting-slash-letter-slash-reminder. It’s the simplest, wisest, most sincere gift I can give to myself, and maybe to any mother who doubts herself.

 

Hey, you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A bit belatedly, but I greet you just the same. After all, just like other special days, we believe it should be celebrated everyday. Showing appreciation should not only be an annual activity.

On Mother’s Day, most claim to have The Best Mother ever, which is partially wrong and partially right. There is no actual measurement or fool-proof way to determine who’s got the best among the rest. Still, a child does know in his heart how his mother has been the perfect one for him. It’s the real love story.

But let’s talk about you.

Of course, you may not be the prettiest, smartest, coolest, sweetest mother – hey, nobody’s really perfect – but I know you try your best for your kids. You know this, you just have to have more faith in yourself. Stop feeding your guilt and letting it eat you up. Quit always feeling inadequate and questioning your own capabilities as a mother… GET. OVER. IT.

It doesn’t matter whether you give birth, adopt or take care of your husband’s children. If you have decided to commit yourself to being a mother, then, by all means, commit! Don’t let your brain have time to make excuses for you. You’re tough, keep it that way.

Motherhood is not for sissies and the weak of heart. You don’t do it half-baked, not half-heartedly. It is not something you just happen to plunge into. Motherhood is a lifetime career that should be taken seriously. I know you do so I am proud of you. Just don’t let that get into your head, okay? There is no room for misplaced pride.

Your kids probably do not or may not appreciate you now, but it’s not never. They just might have a funny way of showing it. After all, admit it, sometimes you have a funny way of showing it as well. Which reminds me, loosen up. You’re loose enough with other people yet you can be quite stiff when it comes to them. Understandably, you just want to instill discipline. The thing is, kids don’t like stiff, that is a constant anywhere. You certainly didn’t like it when you were a kid.

You want to feel appreciated? Make extra effort. Hey, don’t complain. Nobody said it’s going to be easy. In fact, most adults have warned us before, “You’ll only understand where we’re coming from once you’ve got children yourself.” I mean, yeah, we all knew that already. Nevertheless, becoming parents ourselves is one big reality check that we—you—cannot undo. 

Relax. The world wasn’t built in a day so don’t expect children to change into saintly angels overnight. Pray hard, though, that the teen years won’t be turbulent. That is one phase most parents often deal with however much they would rather avoid it.

Remember, no mother is perfect, ergo, no motherhood is, too. Even robots are not perfect and they don’t become mothers (unless we go all-sci-fi here). Other people will always have opinions on how you are supposed to raise your kids  – you know how their own kids turned out and/or are turning out, so really,…??? Take the good and leave the bad, be guided by the right moral compass. Nevermind the haters and know-it-alls who, in reality, hate their own failures and know much less than you do.

 So what to do? Just try to enjoy being a mother and take it easy on yourself, that’s what. Believe in yourself, stay calm, be cool and…have lots of HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYS!!!!!!

 

Love,

Your Conscience

The Kids and I

 

This is my mother with me in probably the last photo taken of us together

 

My sister and her daughter a few years back…Happy Mother’s Day, Ate

Again,…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAYSSSS TO ALL MOMS!!!!