I distinctly remember a co-worker telling me in early March to read Filipina actress Rica Peralejo‘s emotional blog post regarding losing her baby. I did not want to. Being pregnant and worrying about my own baby’s real condition already stressed me out, I did not want to entertain more possibilities of losing my second chance of becoming a mother. But now here I am, sharing this:
I share this not because it is interesting enough, but because she has somehow given voice to me, to my pain. She was me when I lost Baby Jamie. I certainly hope she won’t be me the next time. Talking about my first pregnancy and the miscarriage (baby was at its third month) was already hard for me before, our second tragedy (baby was going to be at its seventh month) just made me feel worse. Really writing about it, about losing Baby Zoe and coping with grief, is something I still can’t handle.
I try to be at peace with myself. It’s a constant struggle. The pain is real.
Thank you, friends, for understanding me…