The needles hurt. All the probing somewhat hurt. The heaving and required pushing hurt. The operation while totally awake certainly hurt. Even the bed hurt after. Even the whispers, comments and the blame said behind our backs and that we actually expected hurt.
But enduring all those was for nothing. Because NOTHING can compare to the hurt, the pain, of giving birth to a baby not meant to live, grow and be held in my arms. Our hearts broke for the second time…
I always say that if something is not meant to be, then it’s not. I don’t want to lay blame on anyone, especially not on ourselves – we get that a lot already from people who do not understand enough. So I’ll just accept this again even with a wounded heart.
To you who is reading this, though, please say a prayer for my Little Zoe or send her love through the universe. They said we should feed her soul with lots of prayers and love, so I appeal to you to help us with this.
Thank you so much for the kindness.