Saying Goodbye Again

The needles hurt. All the probing somewhat hurt. The heaving and required pushing hurt. The operation while totally awake certainly hurt. Even the bed hurt after. Even the whispers, comments and the blame said behind our backs and that we actually expected hurt.

But enduring all those was for nothing. Because NOTHING can compare to the hurt, the pain, of giving birth to a baby not meant to live, grow and be held in my arms. Our hearts broke for the second time…

I always say that if something is not meant to be, then it’s not. I don’t want to lay blame on anyone, especially not on ourselves – we get that a lot already from people who do not understand enough. So I’ll just accept this again even with a wounded heart.

To you who is reading this, though, please say a prayer for my Little Zoe or send her love through the universe. They said we should feed her soul with lots of prayers and love, so I appeal to you to help us with this.

Thank you so much for the kindness.



#UnFRIENDed, Almost #atozchallenge2015

Taking a break from my #ThrowbackTwenty15 posts (have yet to post Part 2) and in keeping with my challenge theme, I am sharing my Facebook post yesterday. This is very personal, indeed…

To my Dearest Friend,

Thank you so much for letting me share my secret with you. It was alright to tell you, after all, you were my friend and knowing where we were at that point of our lives, I gave my trust.

So I appreciate it very much to learn yesterday that you actually went out of your way to tell the very person I tried not to tell it to, not yet anyway. Bravo, what a good pal you are. You spared me the trouble and you didn’t even tell me. I so appreciate your friendship and I’m glad you can sleep well knowing the good deed you did for me. In fact, it could be that you told another friend and another acquaintance, if I can judge their responses and comments well enough — no wonder I felt something….different.

Maybe you’ll read this, maybe not. Maybe you’ll get an inkling this is for you. We’ll continue to be friends, you won’t hear a single word about this from me unless you’d like to talk about it so I can thank you personally. I’d like you to know I appreciate all the other assistance you gave me, I have listed them all down, don’t worry — they have not gone unnoticed nor have I forgotten them. Rest assured, marunong naman ako tumanaw ng utang ng loob (I know how to show my deep gratitude). We’re still friends, but forgive me if I can’t tell you stories anymore.

Again, thank you, friend.



That image above is sooo appropriate…If you must wonder, yes, I’m disappointed, but no I am not angry, for some reason, I’m not even hurt. Perhaps because I still value what friendship we have (had?). I don’t think s/he is a bad person, just someone who needs to see the real value of friendship.


This serves as my “U” post for the A-to-Z Challenge….Yay!!! I’m almost done!!! Unfortunately, I can’t join this year’s challenge. I know I won’t be able to keep up, with work and the upcoming baby and all…