ISAY & AUGIE #atozchallenge

A week after Holy Week, we got our little girl…Little girl puppy, that is. i of A to Z It’s the first time this house got a dog after a long time. Our last dog was Odie and that was when I was still single and unattached, plus my parents were still alive. He was our last because my mother would not allow another one. She said, “Who’s going to take care of it when you’re always away?” It was when my father already had the stroke and my mother was not really strong anymore. I was away on weekdays to work so all the responsibility of taking care of the house, my father, and the dog went to her. A dog was too hyper for her. Needless to say, I saw her point so I gave in. I’ve said this several times already after my parents passed away that I would get a dog again. It is only now that it has come true when I’ve got my own family.

isay-dog

Isay is one aloof little girl

Ladies and gents, presenting…ISAY. I gave her that name, after the place she came from, Talisay. She was already around two months, though, with certain behaviors that we’re trying to “undo”. She tends to be aloof even of us and has a love-hate relationship with her primary human, my husband. When she does become playful, she can become too playful and treat us aggressively like non-humans.

isay-and-bin

Isay with her main human. It’s not easy capturing her every time because she runs away

More than a week ago, we got her a brother (well, brother until their relationaship changes). the kids wanted to call him Augie so Augie it is. He is just a month old. Good thing Isay didn’t get jealous and was completely welcoming the other pup. Augie, on the other hand, is more friendly to humans. I present to you…AUGIE!!!!

SOo hard to take this picture!

So hard to take this picture!

More humans!!!

More humans!!!

Hope you like the pics!!! :)

HELLO, WORLD!!! #atozchallenge

H of A to ZYes, “H” is for HELLO, WORLD!!! Because isn’t that the default greeting newbies get when they start something online? According to Wikipedia (and I think they can be relied on when it comes to simple info like this):

A “Hello, World!” program is a computer program that outputs “Hello, World!” (or some variant thereof) on a display device. Because it is typically one of the simplest programs possible in most programming languages, it is by tradition often used to illustrate to beginners the most basic syntax of a programming language.

My keyword there, really, is “beginners,” because after being gone for quite a while, it almost feels like I’m a newbie again in the blogging world. Just almost, since I haven’t really gone and have been visiting and commenting on blogs I follow. I did want to post badly, but time, health and resources did not permit me. To update you, and many maybe wondering why I am still doing the A to Z Challenge that’s supposed to be just for the whole month of April, well, I am continuing with it. I failed last year, and to think I only had “Z” left! I just don’t want to be a quitter. It’s not like it’s do or die or anything, for Pete’s sake. Maybe I won’t have enough luxury of time and resources for now to do it regularly, but I will finish it….Can anybody tell me, though, how to go back to the classic version of the editor??? This new one drives me nuts! It doesn’t ask anymore if I want the old version, but I want it back!!! I want to be able to add text color, for one thing, especially when I add links (I just make them bold and they also automatically appear to be underlined somewhat). Going back to updating you, in case you’ve been wondering, I was on leave for two months due to a very personal loss. I was required to go on such leave. I thought I could go back after a week, but doctors themselves always advise otherwise, so I decided I’d rather not risk my health anymore. It really was quite new to me as I’m not so used to getting sick for a long time. It was even my first time to be hospitalized. I hated that I could not move fast, that I was not allowed to do more stuff that I normally could, that I could not take advantage of the free time to fix whatever stuff I wanted fixed at home. It’s nice to be cared for, especially by my sweet husband, but too much dependence bored me. It did not help either that within my recuperating period, I got sick again. Double whammy! The good news is there won’t be a need for surgery anymore. I do need to take some medicine still to make sure the swelling’s really gone ’cause I think it’s still there a bit. Seemed like it was pregnancy-related, but when I’m able, I’ll go have some tests done to be sure. Better safe than sorry, right? It really gave us a scare, I admit. April had just started and I thought I could complete the challenge on time. WRONG-O. That second whammy took me away from my blogging because (1) I didn’t have enough energy, (2) I wasn’t supposed to stay up late, and (3) I couldn’t just spend fifty-pesos per day so that I could get connected to the Internet when we needed the money for my meds and our everyday expenses. Priorities first (redundant, but just to drive a point).

Dads, too, I know!

And then, there were the kids. His kids, also mine now. They now live with us, and now I know how it really feels like to be a mom. And anyone else who does, or anyone who understands, knows that lots of times, kids come first. It doesn’t help that I’m pretty OC, so I now realize I can be really strict (I know, gotta loosen up!). It was like giving rush lessons on how to be good, little boys, and actual rush lessons on reading, writing, counting,…Hey, school starts this June, so, you know. And, oh, we got two pups, so it’s like having two additional kids in the family. I am back at work. Just in time for my birthday last Monday. No offense to my colleagues at work, but I didn’t enjoy it much because, well, I had to work, and especially because I wanted to spend it with my love and kids. But anyway, do expect more posts from me. Also, do expect they won’t be daily posts. Gotta work, y’know ;) Thank you to my new followers, by the way! Sorry I am not able right now to say my thanks individually. Keep on writing, guys!!!

Little Goonies #atozchallenge

G of A to ZEver seen that 80s movie where Frodo’s Sam was still young, asthmatic Mikey leading a band of misfits and going through all sorts of adventures? They were THE GOONIES. Well I never had adventures as grand as theirs, but somehow, I’ve always felt like a goony myself. Come to think of it, most kids have been goonies one time or another, right? It would be sad to know of any that has not been one ever–whatever happened to happy childhood?

This house, this home, has had its share of little goonies, starting with myself and my big sister Jeng. Though I was a shy kid in public, at home, I was the biggest goony. Can you tell with that mischievous smile on my face?

gi-and-jeng

That’s Me and my big sis, taken one Christmas Day. Our mother liked having matching clothes made for us for the occasion (sorry for the quality of the pic, haven’t had much time to scan this)

After my sister graduated from high school to go to college, I was pretty much the lone resident goony for quite a while…Hmn, well that’s not quite right, I guess, with my father around, he he.

It was when she had her own daughter after many years that this house finally felt the presence of a new, young one, “T”. However, T only got to visit during a few Christmases and, unfortunately, to attend the funeral of her Lolo Dade (that’s Grandpa Daddy, her term of endearment for him). That said, I know the goony’s in her as well even if she’s growing up so fast.

jgi-niece

Isn’t she a doll?

I could have been carrying in me the next baby goony, but as it is, it’s not meant to be. There’s no shortage of baby goonies here, though. We currently house two of them.

jgi-niece-2

Another one of her pics, which I just took pics of again, sorry. This is one of my faves and I chose to share this because I think it shows her goony spirit

The last pic shows those two. The taller one’s “E” and the smaller one’s “A”. Over all, they’re the gooniest of us all, giving this old, rusty goony a run for her own fictional money.

little-enriquez-boys

Don’t let all these innocent-looking faces fool you!!! :)

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Sorry for the inconsistencies, guys. My current situation makes it hard for me to catch up with the letters. But I promise to keep posting for the A-to-Z Challenge. Apologies also to bloggers I haven’t visited yet — I am trying to catch up with that one but for sure I will keep visitng even past the challenge. To my WordPress friends, please bear with me if I can’t visit as often as I can for now.

Cheers!!!!

Fever All Through the Night #atozchallenge

F of A to ZApologies for not posting for days. I’m going through more rough times so please bear wth me. As you can probably already guess from the title, I had FEVER. I wanted to write about something else for my F-post, something I’ve been meaning to talk about but I was not able to that day. Thought I could still make up for it as the day just begun elsewhere but some other priorities came up.

Long story short, Thursday afternoon, I noticed some swelling that got worse and scary by the evening and then I got high fever that made my husband really worry. Surprisingly I still did not feel like it was that high, though, I took my own temperature — 39.2 Celsius, then 39.4… Fortunately, it went back to 39.2 and lower, thanks to my patient but very worried caregiver.

Friday morning, we went to an OB (a new one because my former OB’s clinic schedule was still in the afternoon and we couldn’t wait any longer). We had to know if it had to do with my recent pregnancy. The doc wasn’t exactly sure but gave me prescription. We will have to observe first if the swelling will stop, otherwise, she might declare the need for surgery to drain and stop the swelling…YIPES.

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I’m not that scared about the surgery part, though I can’t promise I can say the same if the time really comes. I’m more worried about the expenses. We’ve basically used up what we had and got paying for my recent hospital bills, other loans and other important stuff.

So please, please, please, once you have the time, and I know you’ll have the time, even right after reading this, pray or wish that things will get better for me, for us. Please pray or wish for the swelling to stop and to go back to normal, to never happen again, and to not cause any further trouble in the future.

That said, please bear with me if I can’t regularly post. It won’t be easy to catch up at the moment.

Education: Parents’ Ticket to Freedom? #atozchallenge

E of A to Z‘Tis the season for graduations! In the Philippines, that is. So today, I thought I’d talk about one of my opinions on how people regard EDUCATION.

Graduation is usually March for grade schools and high schools, April for universities and other tertiary institutions. It’s especially stressful, though, for most college grads. Why not? Suddenly, they are expected to be totally independent and considered as instant adults, which could lead to a lot more pressure if they have yet to find work. For the more unfortunate, they are suddenly thrust into a bigger responsibility even right after graduation.

It is very common to hear parents say they are glad to finally have a graduate in the family, someone who will send or help send his younger siblings to school. Some even say they can finally retire because of that. Well, sorry to say, but I find that quite unfair, if not naive. Unfair, because it should never be the child’s responsibility but the parents’ to send his siblings to school. Definitely, it is not his responsibility to be the family breadwinner. In this country, these things often happen. I also say it’s naivete, if not ignorance, to expect new graduates to land a job immediately. And supposed that they do since it is not impossible, just not usual, they will most especially start at the bottom where they will just earn minimum wage, hopefully not just on a contractual basis, that may not even be enough for the whole family.

The problem with parents is they see a diploma as a way out of their own responsibilities.

That’s why instead of feeling sympathy, I feel mad at parents whose kids die before them and I hear them say stuff like, “He was our breadwinner. What are we going to do now?” or “He was the one sending his siblings to school” or “He was our only graduate. He was going to take us away from poverty. Now he’s gone!” I want to shout back, and I do shout back if it’s on TV, “WORK! LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO!!! OR MAKE YOUR OTHER LAZY KIDS PULL THEIR OWN WEIGHT!!!”  I mean I understand where they are coming from, but it would be better to know they grieve because they have lost and will miss a loved one, not because they lost a human piggy bank.

I am not against children helping out their families. It is very noble and commendable of them. It’s wonderful to have such kids who know how to show support back. But if it is a forced responsibility they did not sign out for when their parents decided to have them, that’s where I have an issue. Parents, if you already know you can’t support your kids, if you can’t be responsible for the lives you bring into this world, don’t have them! Otherwise, own up!!!

Death, Denial, Depression #atozchallenge

D of A to Z“D” is for DEATH. We all know death, but it’s still a big word, considering that grief causes two other Ds, DENIAL and DEPRESSION.

I wish I could write about something else, something lighter, like dancing, which I really considered but my tablet is making it harder to post vids and I don’t have much patience right now, or dogs except I don’t have nice pictures to share of past canine pets. Instead, “death” kept insisting itself on my mind. No, I didn’t want to write about it. I wanted to write something much more fun or something lighter like last year. But here I am. This is much more raw than my “A” post.

Those who have followed me enough times are aware of what I went through these past three years. At first, I refrained from discussing much about death in the family, then I realized I could not get away from it — I had to give in sometime. What better way to do that than to pay tribute to my parents?

I tell you, it was not easy watching your loved ones deteriorate everyday. It was not easy doing the best you could, swallowing pride to ask friends and others for any amount they could share, sacrificing your job, and taking care of your parents while wondering if you’d still have a job to go back to after…Yes, after, because despite everything I did, at the back of my mind, I knew with a certain dread that the end was near for both of them.

When all of these were going on, I hardly wept. At rare times, I just felt a lump on my throat, cleared it, shook my head and continued with my–our–day. I wanted to keep emotionally strong and to always have a clear head for you would never know when a decision had to be made. There were many, in fact. Together with some relatives, I had to rush my mother to the hospital monthly, without fail, until July, which we all thought we would finally skip and it turned out to be her last month on earth.

All the while, I had a clear head. I could not let myself feel down for so long. While I communicated with my sister regularly, she was still miles and seas away; any immediate decision had to be made by myself and I could not afford to make the wrong one. Could it be called strength? I don’t know. It would be very presumptuous and self-serving of me to say it was. All I am sure of is this seems to be the way I react when faced with circumstances that call for me to have a sense of responsibility.

I could’ve cried when my father had the stroke when I was 20, but I didn’t, not in front of my mother anyway. How could I when I saw her break down in their room and right away, I had to hold her and reassure her that things would be fine? Somebody had to be strong for us during those times and I was the nearest family member to do that. I only cried when he was first diagnosed as having suffered a stroke, but that was when I was alone at home and they were in the hospital. It was also very short-lived — I had just started weeping when my cousin called out to me from outside, saw my eyes and basically berated me for being a wimp as she saw that as a lack of support for my mother. I did not have the energy to argue that crying was normal, even a healthy reaction. After that, I don’t remember a time that I cried about it ever again.

facing-griefI guess this coping mechanism was something that got developed in me. “Surreal” is the only way I can describe the feeling. It’s like being sad, worried and alert all at the same time. When my father was pronounced dead, I already knew even before the E.R. doctor could tell us. My friend who stayed with me would later tell another friend how brave I was. Brave? Not sure about that,  just that when another cousin and I were already alone with my father’s lifeless body, I surprised myself when I bawled out, kissing his face, saying sorry for everything bad I had done, especially for getting mad two evenings prior.

Months after losing my parents, I still did not really cry save from the actual funerals. I could have gone through the Denial phase of grieving, for all I knew. I did know that I got to the Anger phase the next year. Being angry at one’s self could be quite debilitating itself. I do believe I suffered from Depression.

Recently, I lost my baby. S/he was just more or less two months in the womb. Can you imagine feeling elated after finding out you’re having a baby, then learning after a week that s/he doesn’t seem to have a heartbeat anymore? Can you imagine the additional stress of waiting after another week to check if the findings are the same and then they are? Now imagine going for a second opinion, getting yet another ultrasound test and still, no heartbeat…

Definitely, I cried several times to my husband over the course of waiting. On that third test, I had no time to really cry. Then again, I was with one of my bestfriends and I decided I was not going to cry until I was alone. That did not happen, though, for once I was alone after two hours, I was bleeding and had myself brought to the hospital. I did not cry either during the whole thing and sang “Defying Gravity” to calm myself. I did not let myself cry for hours while I was at the recovery room. When I requested that my husband be let in for a few minutes for I needed to tell him something, however, I was again surprised by the sudden surge of emotions as I waited. I saw him and then the tears went and rolled down, upsetting and worrying him…

Honestly, I don’t know how to properly end this piece. I guess I just needed to share. So forgive me for the long post and for posting a day late (at least where I am) because I just had to sort my thoughts out and kept typing them down. This is one of the most vulnerable times in the history of my whole blogging experience…

MAYA [CHAPTER 3: REUNIONS, Scene 6] #atozchallenge

“C” is for CHAPTER and for today’s A to Z Challenge, I present the long-overdue  next scene of my story’s third CHAPTER. I will need to alter the look of the texts some other day. A few translations to follow soon.

C of A to Z

For past chapter pages, CLICK HERE

CHAPTER THREE: REUNIONS (Scene 6)

SHE was blabbering, Maya knew she was, as they settled at a table near the windows of the deli. She was well aware of this, very nervous that she even had a moment of dilemma simply deciding with whom to sit (she chose Santi who happened to be nearer). She knew, too, that they knew she was agitated. It could not be helped for their souls were too connected to hers. Whether that was an unfortunate thing or not, it was not helping at the moment.

…and I remembered you once told me to take culinary lessons so that I could be a chef since I wanted to learn, so I took your advice—well, almost, because I decided to do my own stuff and create anything I wanted, so since Santi, here, didn’t want to join their family business, I decided maybe I could be a secret business partner of the family—”

This is yours?” Gabriel addressed Santi from across the table.

Maya answered for the doctor with “I just told you, he didn’t want to be a part of the family business, so technically, it’s not really his. Mine would be a better way to put it, although,” she suddenly realized she was not supposed to talk aloud about it and whispered, “it’s a secret, really. Santi is the only one who knows and he coordinates with his lawyer for me and the lawyer coordinates with the Rivases. And when there are meetings, I need only log in to Skype for a voice chat.” She looked around the place to make sure no one had heard her careless storytelling. It was a good thing peak hours were not there yet.

Congratulations, then, I’m happy for you.” He really did not sound like it. “I just wonder, if you’re not business associates,…?” The unfinished question still sounded malicious.

We’re really just friends, like she said” Santi replied coldly, matching Gabriel’s forced smile. “As I suppose you two are, correct?”

Hmnnn….” was the response coupled with a little sneer that seemed designed to annoy.

Mga loko!” she exclaimed. “You’re both not my type!”

That’s not how I remember it,” Gabriel added with a wink at her then a glance at Santi that he made sure was not missed.

Santi took the bait, saying, “Maybe that’s not how she remembers whatever it is you’re remembering.”

Is that so?” her old friend asked, now addressing her with raised brows and the sneer still pasted on his face.

Maya pretended to be unaffected. “Ay, ewan ko sa iyo! Anyway, we’re here to eat so why don’t we order? I know! I’ll order your favorite for you, Gabi—“ she caught herself, “—Gabriel. I’ll order for you the Puto Bomb! That’s my own style of puto bumbong. Isn’t that funny?”

Isn’t that supposed to be available only during the Christmas season?”

Not this one. And that’s a silly idea to get stuck with anyway when we can have it all-year round. Ours come with syrup that you can pour on it or dip into, if you don’t want it the regular way. We’ve got caramel, choco and honey to choose from.” She was blabbering again. “Then how about coffee? We’ve got barako, obviously. But maybe you’d like to have a taste of our rice coffee or corn coffee? We’re the first coffee shop to offer those, as far as I know. Or how about hot choco? Ours are made from actual tablia.” Mentioning those things somehow gave Maya a sense of calm, like they were familiar territory where both she and Gabriel belonged.

Without waiting for his approval, Maya stood up and went to the bar to give their orders. She realized she forgot to ask for Santi’s, but she knew he would eat anything she gave anyway, he would not mind. He would understand how preoccupied she would be with Gabriel as there would be a lot of catching up to do. He knew she missed her old friend very much for she had told him this time and again, like a broken record.

She took a look at their table and saw the two men barely talking, seeming to be eyeing each other intently like competitors would. Ah! This was not what Maya wanted, not how she wanted to introduce them, and very much not how she wanted them to react. Why she expected things to be different this time, she did not know. All she knew was that she was not ready, and surely, Maya would have a lot of explaining to do.

But not this soon!, she almost said out loud when Santi approached her to say he had to go as she received her change from the barista. Instead, she said, “Going? But we just got here!”

I’ve got work to do, you know that. And I’d like to use your potion on the bones already, which I couldn’t do with him around.”

Aaaw…I really wanted you and Gabriel to get to know each other more. I want my bestfriends to be bestfriends, too.”

Santi had a serious, unrelenting look. “Sorry, Maya. It doesn’t seem likely to happen. I don’t think he likes me.”

Or maybe you just don’t like him?”

He ignored what she said. “Besides, I know he’ll be more interested in finding out what you have been up to all these years and perhaps, you know, rekindle old memories that he remembers with you…”

You don’t believe that, do you?” Maya took his left hand in hers and squeezed it to give him reassurance.

Santi gave a little laugh. “I was just joking. It doesn’t matter what I think, really. Also, who am I, anyway? He’s been your bestfriend since forever, like you said. Compared to how long you’ve known each other, it’s like you and I just met…” She could not think of anyting immediate to say to that as memories flooded her thoughts. Santi pulled his hand back and checked his watch. “I do need to get back. I’m honestly sorry I can’t stay long, but I’m also glad to give you more time to be with your friend. I am sure you’ll have many things to talk about.” With that, he gave her a little wave, nodded to Gabriel who was watching them and got out of the place.

Maya gave out a silent, exasperated sigh. There was just no way to avoid the inevitable, she might as well brace herself. Cancelling the orders she made for Santi, Maya went back to her seat to wait for orders she made for herself and Gabriel.

Now they were alone, but neither of them spoke. A certain awkwardness hung in the air. The surprise brought by them meeting again was initially a pleasant experience for her until realization began to sink in. Nothing was pleasant the last time they were together. Would it be worth delving into? Would he even want to discuss it? She was not sure if she did.

Fearing a confrontation, she decided to break the silence, anyway. “Wow, it’s been—what?—ten, fifteen years?”

Twelve,” he said. She knew that, but the idle talk was supposed to break the ice.

Can’t believe you’re an NBI agent, of all things. That’s good. A very productive way to spend the years. I’m sure they have made full use of your warrior skills.”

Not quite the way you put it. The work is very well-tamed.” He looked straight into her eyes. “You’ve been busy as well. I see you’ve reconnected with old company.”

And so we start. Can’t we just talk about my new car and the fact that I’m actually driving??? “Well, you’ve lived this life as long as I have so you know that’s bound to happen in every generation, whether we like it or not. It’s not going to stop unless our breaths do. I’ve learned to live with it and accept it, no matter how people turn out to be.”

Oh, really?”

Sure! Did you see the receptionist?”

Sanwana.”

Yes. She is Cleo now. Looks different, but still very pretty, as she always has been the family beauty. People change face, but we recognize them just the same like it was yesterday. Every reincarnation, though, Sanwana is mean to me. It’s like she has decided to hate me for eternity.” Maya genuinely gave a little laugh.

Sounds exactly like your sister.”

Well, I don’t know how to break that cycle so I deal with it by just being happy to be with my sister in this certain Sanwana-lifetime. Now, Tilsa, guess where that kind sister of mine is. A convent! The habit suits her well.”

The talk was interrupted when their orders arrived: barako coffee and puto bumbong with all the syrups for him, just a simple cup of corn coffee for her.

Gabriel was still not in the mood she wanted him to be in, unfortunately, and had been thinking of something else. “What’s between the two of you?” he asked once the waiter left the table.

Tilsa?” she asked back, taking a sip of her coffee.

You and that guy.”

That guy…Santi…?”

Your Dr. Santi.” If looks could kill, Gabriel’s could have already killed her.

Nothing!” To her own ears, she sounded defensive. “You should know that.”

Do I really know that?”

Why, don’t you know me by now?”

That’s just the problem. You are like an enigma to me. I don’t know who I’m really looking at right now, his Maya or the Maya-asya I knew?”

There’s a difference?”

Definitely. For one thing, you were a suicidal wreck when I left you and now, you’re this bubbly, talkative girl with her high-tech gadgets, a driving license and a new boyfriend.”

He’s not—!” she snapped and caught herself. Maya took a moment to calm down then told him to eat his food before it got cold. Gabriel picked up his fork but absent-mindedly poked at his food. “If you’re not eating that, then I will.”

So what are you two, really?”

Does it matter?” she snapped again. She expected this but hated it just the same.

I think you owe me an explanation.”

Why? You’re not my lover, either. If I remember it correctly, you said you could never love me.”

That was not how I said it. Besides, I am not the issue here.”

Why should there even have to be an issue with Santi then?”

You know very well why!”

“Don’t snarl at me. Can’t we just enjoy each other’s company like old friends should?” Gabriel seemed to want to say something more then decided not to. Instead, he decided to eat his food.

Maya took that as another opportunity to restart the conversation, to clear things up. “Santi…Well, we met when I saved his life from…you-know-what. To make things short, I found out about his work and thought he could help me in catching ‘them’ through that.”

“And you catch them because…?” Gabriel did not even look up from his food. She did not answer. “I see you are still on the same destructive path.”

“How is that destructive? Isn’t it your job as an agent to catch bad elements? Me, too, just other kinds of bad elements.”

Gabriel stopped eating altogether and stared her in the eye. “How is it your job exactly?” She did not reply again. She knew where this was going. “The problem with you, Maya, is you never learn. And you’ll never learn until you let go of the past. You let it keep haunting you, and you keep hunting, and now, you’ve let another past back in your life…Good luck on your future, that’s all I can say.”

And with that, Gabriel put down his fork, stood up and left Maya half-regretting seeing him again.

BIKOY #atozchallenge

B of A-to-Z

Hello again, peeps! Let me first say, just to make it clear, that my first two letters for the A to Z Challenge happen to be posted on the same day, April 2, for the simple reason that we here in Asia generally start the day earlier than the rest of the world. Technically, if I were to follow the standard international time, I could post this past midnight and it still would be April 2 for the rest of the world. That said, today, we go to the letter “B” and after much thought, I decided to feature the “name” of my most favorite man in the world (well, along with my father), my husband.

my-husband

It is highly unlikely that you will use this pic, nevertheless, please refrain from doing so as this is for family use only — thanks

Let’s call this The Origin of Bikoy.

His real name is Alvin, but some friends and family/relatives call him Vin as a term of endearment. But because we are in the Philippines where “F” becomes “ep” and “P” becomes “fi”, his “V” normally becomes “bi” so I spell — and pronounce — his nick as B-I-N. That is, when I am not calling him Bikoy. It is my coined term just for him, and he decided to call me his Bikoi, with an “I” at the end because he wanted to reciprocate.

To be perfectly honest, not only did I not want the usual “sweetheart”, “honey”, “darling”, “babe” or whatever, but it was my way to avoid calling him Baby Ko (My Baby) back, he he. No offense meant to others, but I just didn’t and don’t see myself calling anyone my baby unless he is my own child. Me, say Baby Ko in public? Ugh, aaawkwaard…So, to make the story short, BIKOY is simply a modified version of you-know-what.

And that, folks, is The Origin of Bikoy.

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NOTE: Just got miffed. Just like last night, my WiFi’s network seems to work much, much slower in the evenings these days. So this post got posted April 3 instead when I said it would be April 2! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! I have to remind myself to post earlier instead and try to make time during the day (my day…I’ve been busy cleaning up stuff and throwing out a lot of them). I’ll try to post more images as well; my tablet gives me trouble. I really miss my laptop.

Anyway, hope you liked my little tidbit. It’s not something I am comfortable sharing to others ;)

“AMBROSIA” I & II #atozchallenge

It’s time for the A-to-Z Challenge! For my first post, I give you “AMBROSIA” I & II, written separately but “inspired” by the same people.

Now, my theme is MYSELF, and this is Me, raw. As a poet (poetess, to be politically correct), I am admittedly not as prolific as I want to be, and that is mainly because it’s my emotions that guide me. To those who still do  not know how I write, I think   I write best when I’m mad. Not something to be proud of, but that’s how I am wired…

AMBROSIA

If there is truth in Armageddon,
The earth shall open and swallow you whole,
Down to the deepest core where the fires of hell will burn you.

No, search not for your soul…
It would be futile, hell consumed it long ago;
You are a dead man walking, a man with no soul.

If there is truth, at all, in Armageddon,
Then I will gladly wait for it.
I will, at last, taste my ambrosia, my sweet revenge!

…And I will never have to lift a finger.

 

Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

Written: March 9, 1999

 

AMBROSIA II

Dead man walking, your dark blood runs through me
Like an ugly, evil curse that never dies,
Evil in that cruelty you wield in the absence of a soul.

I will not yield nor die in vain, but avenge myself
Through your own shallowness and ignorance,
And your miserable, pitiful, unimportant existence.

Armageddon is mine to hold and mine to cast,
Mine, after all, as I patiently await your downfall.
My ambrosia, my sweet revenge, my exquisite nirvana!

…Justice will speak, and what price you will pay.

 

Copyright © J.Gi Federizo

Written: June 11, 2002

The A-to-Z Challenge Theme Reveal #atozchallenge

After almost two days of going offline, I was surprised to find that I got 43 hourly views yesterday. I don’t know what really spiked the stats up, but who’s complaining? Definitely not me. That may not be big enough a number for power bloggers, but that’s quite big already for this simple blogger. I do know that in the coming days, the views will go up for sure and I hope viewers will not just view but stay as followers.

April is just around the corner, which goes to say that it’s time, once again, for the A to Z Challenge! Based on experience, joining has a lot of advantage, particularly, one can gain more followers just by participating. Again, I have signed up for the challenge and considering that I will be staying home the entire month of April, I really just might finish all letters on time. That’s enough motivation for me. Added bonus is I will get to practice my writing more, which is very important for writers like myself.

On a really more personal note, I see this as therapeutic for me as I go through this current phase in my life. I believe in healing oneself by learning to move on. It is not to forget, rather to cope.

That said, it is time to reveal my theme for this year — MYSELF. I don’t want to go far, or pretend to be an expert on specific topics, or be OC again and spend too much time doing research on whatever ideas I can think of. I’d like to share “ME”. For me as a writer, it’s important to share myself to my audience. They’re not going to be profound stuff (though I can’t promise none will be), but just tidbits of what makes me, Me. People in mylife, favorite things, stories, poetry, experiences maybe…I say maybe because I’m still in the process of writing down my ideas per letter. Maybe you’ll like my posts, maybe you’ll say, “Nah.” Hopefully, you’ll want to go back and stay as my new online buddies.

Thanks, guys, and keep on blogging!!!